A facebook update regarding “Relationship”.

By November 26, 2010 13 Comments

The bridge between the elder and the young is fast bridging, than was in the times so conservative. Yet the tradition of respect shall continue, when transparency is there mixed with shared values and responsibility. One slip, and you loose the worth you are..! (Just A Thought)[Link]

To this few people responded:

Avishek Roy (ex-BCETian, presently working in TCS) :

“traditional customs of respect do keep us apart and different from others”

Mr. Simarprit Singh :

‎”Worth” is becoming more tangible and in my view it is “no good worth” if it can be lost in one inadvertent/ or otherwise slip… times are changing 🙂

Sarbani Ghosh (Student, University of Delhi) :

I feel, personally, that the bridge was always in the making. Yes we are seeing tangible results now but it was always a fusion of thoghts of young and old. whenever a generation matures to take up the responsibility to run the world they assume supremacy, as in their ideals and values do. The bridge today is palpable but the differences even amog siblings is so great that the effective distance remains the same. Its always a one man’s thought that can confer some stability to the system , though short lived, but so has been the case always although the process is self- destructive as Marx always professed.

Debmalya Sen (ex-BCETian, presently working in Tech Mahindra) :

somewhere or the other the word respect is missing or rather should i say the awe is missing, its not with all but i do feel that somewhere with this bridge the respect is going lost…

Nikita Ganguly (student, final year, B.Com, South City) :

I really second ur notion on d need to develop n retain inter-personal relationship, ethics n values, especially on d part f youngsters n infact d urge to erase d differences shud b encouraged greatly by us!

To Mr Singhs response, I responded :

‎”worth” needs to be built sir, with credible work, inter personal relationship, transparency, ethics and values… its more of what you can share than what you need to recieve. Any person who sees a disbalance in the same removes the “worth” associated!

Yes, the social media is fast bridging the gap and the communication. Today, I follow my teachers on twitter, my dad has subscribed to my FB updates on mobile, so has many of my friends and yes, my own didi. We have access to our idols, near ones, friends updates so very easily. There used to be a time, when elders used to stay with their friends who matched their taste and age group. Today, a teacher can get in touch with his/her students, connect to them at a personal basis… but yes, should know where to draw the line. Few people mis understood my statement , but it I believe yes, to build inter personal relationship transparency is required.. “sharedvalues of respect for the other needs to be there.. if a senior/elder respects the other, the other must reciprocate.. else where does one relationship stand? In a similar way credible work and responsibility needs to be shared.. it infuses new spirit of responsibility and only takes both the parties in the relationship forward. Today, suppose I give Sourav a particular job, and he accepts it, I will be there to help him..while he will also learn from the work and the experiences that I would share.. but if his attitude towards me or the work isnt good, I have to be dismissive of the idea.

Similarly on the part of the elders, I feel if you donot add value to the system, share things with your youngsters, share your thoughts and values and try to dominate instead of sharing, it creates a bad impression.

I feel, understanding needs to be there both ways.. since the young people are young (ohk, thats the way I can put it best) and they lack experience and exposure to the outer world, the elders need to take the step 1 to communicate with the youngster.. The other way can also be seen, when the youngster knows he/she lacks experience, they need to understand how seniors can guide them.. they should be told the stories found in our religious books.

Anyway do leave your comments as to how a striking balance can be maintained, either here or at Facebook thread.

You might also like to read : Action

If you wish to take this word further and engage more people to discus this then do “like” or “share this” at various other social networking sites..

  • Divya Gaurav

    Any thing has both white and black parts.We have to choose between them or create a gray part acquiring both white and black.What I mean is that a person’s morals decide the validity or usefulness of any system or belief.A boy discussing his problems with his elder brother seems like a bridge between youngers n elders but let not that bridge become a path to destroy values.same way internet n social networking can be used both to assist each other or share feelings.At the same time it can be used s a tool to propagate hatred or for creating troubles for some poor guy.So I believe that our morals decide our actions and our actions decide the fate of a system or a belief.
    Divya Gaurav
    3rd year,ECE

    • Anirban

      Thank you Gaurav. This article was written somehow keeping in my how elders should be conducting themselves, you view is an interesting point made as a third person. What do you think of the “shared value” you yourself is a senior to your next two batch.. what are your expectations from them and what should you do to get it fulfilled?

  • Divya Gaurav

    Anirban bhaiya u can’t have common expectations from a large crowd.so expectations differ from person to person.lets not discuss it hear now.and people will live up to my expectations or act as I want them to only if I do it myself.

    • Anirban

      Jio! thats the point… what do you “do it yourself”?? thats my question!!!

  • Divya Gaurav

    many deeds done n many on the way to be done.but lets not get in the personal details in this blog.

  • Respect in any kind of relationship is imprtant but at some level respect needs to be earned and it should not be taken for granted. For example if one of my elders do something nastu or say something nasty infront of me then he/she will lose my respect. Too many seniors take respect for granted as if their date-of-birth as automatically elevated them to a higher pedestal. Same with the juniors, if they demand a voice, space and respect then they also need to earn it not expect the seniors to take them seriously from the outset. As for expectations from seniors/juniors, I don’t have any. I am one of those who goes on doing his job and carry on with my life without expecting a thing from anybody(my defense from sadness and hurt).

    As for the social networkng angle, I only have my elder bro in my facebook friend list and we are least bothered about each other’s fb updates or status. We deal with eachother one to one. I have my bro’s friends in my fb fl but I have a very chilled relationship with them so again we don’t take social networking too seriously in building interpersonal relationships. Our relationships are more defined in the real world than in the virtual world.

    • Anirban

      “if one of my elders do something nastu or say something nasty infront of me then he/she will lose my respect. ” coz they miss on the “shared value” stuff.

      But then my question to you is, hasnt the social networking sites change the scenario even for a bit?

  • For me it hasn’t. Ya, a few of my older friends realized that I have more to my personality than I present to them but they always suspected that and it was not surprising to me. For you it might have as u have teachers and parents in fb but for me, ‘nada’!

    • Anirban

      Even then what are your views on “shared values and responsibilities and transparency” in any relationship?

  • Viti

    i don’t see the point of this discussion.
    none of it can be applied to a general body of people.

    • Anirban

      Explain your point mam… !!!

  • ruchy

    the thought is quite expanded…but as i view it.Whenever you try to build a bridge its not always a depth you try to cover.but also sometimes the hights you try to level.And sometimes these hights represent respect..which keeps them above from us.so once you try to level them n you r gone…..

    • Anirban

      Ohk, I feel this gives a new dimension to the discussion, could you please elaborate on it with an example Ruchy?

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